


roundtable rival

by ohmygodbenedictcumberbatch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester and Feelings, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Dean is a Little Shit, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Human Castiel, M/M, Vampires, mentions of cowboys, much dangerous that last tag is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-04-23 08:35:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14328651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmygodbenedictcumberbatch/pseuds/ohmygodbenedictcumberbatch
Summary: Ever since Cas become human, things have been . . . different.Don’t get Dean wrong, have Cas around all the time has been fantastic. No more worrying about where he was at all times, if he was in trouble, when he would be coming home, normal things you would think about when you’re worried about family. At least, that’s what Dean told himself. That’s all he felt for Cas. Just brotherly love.





	1. dean freaks

**Author's Note:**

> so this is probs going to be 3 chapters//the only reason it's named roundtable rival is because i listened to that song like nonstop while i wrote this//if you have any ideas for other fics or things to include in this fic DEFINITELY TELL ME I WILL MOST LIKELY INCLUDE IT//i hope you like it//if you do read it, you are my hero and you are amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cas is human and dean deosn't know how to deal with feelings because he's a big bro, a no feelings no homo bro

Ever since Cas become human, things have been . . . different.

Don’t get Dean wrong, have Cas around all the time has been fantastic. No more worrying about where he was at all times, if he was in trouble, when he would be coming home, normal things you would think about when you’re worried about family. At least, that’s what Dean told himself. That’s all he felt for Cas. Just brotherly love.

True enough, Cas acted like family. He stayed at the bunker, hunted, got drunk and laughed loudly afterwards. Dean loved seeing him that happy. His cheeks got flushed, head thrown back, laughs escaping him as he cracked up over some dumb joke Dean made.

Dean made something of a contest with himself. Whenever he could, he tried to make some stupid-ass joke just so he could hear that laugh, see those shoulders shaking. Sometimes he would do it in the middle of a hunt, stabbing some werewolf and some stupid pun would come to him as he’d finish pulling the knife out. He’d say it and look over to see Sam wrestling something and rolling his eyes while Cas tried not to laugh.

Those were the times he was happiest.

But when one of them got injured, it hurt. Not because they most likely broke something, but because of Cas’ complete look of hopelessness. Dean could have a bullet in his shoulder, lying on the ground, and all he would be thinking about was how to make the haunted look disappear.

When they weren’t on hunts, which happened more often than not since the world had gotten a little less bat-shit crazy, they hung around the bunker. They would do mundane things, like cook and not worry about the world ending.

Dean was constantly reminded how lucky he was to have finally found a home.

 

✦ `✦ ✦

 

All was well during the hunt. Or as well as it could be with vamp blood flying everywhere.

Dean was soaked in it, the floor flooded with the stuff. He looked over and saw Cas dodging three attacks, blood flying off of him as he moved. His machete glinted as it cleanly took off two heads in one swing. He caught Dean’s eye and smiled, his whole body just looking alive, in a way it was never when Cas was an angel. Cas’ eyes widened and Dean sighed, knowing what was behind him, then sidestepped, the vamp losing its balance from its failed attack. He jumped on its back, knocking it to the ground then stabbed his blade through its hand.

“Sam! Knife!” He yelled. One skidded its way to him. He picked it up and promptly impaled the other hand. The vampire screamed, the otherworldly echo bouncing around. He grunted, stood up, and glanced over at his brother. Sam had just finished off a little boy, probably only nine or so, and was gazing down on its body.

“Dammit!” Sam yelled, throwing his machete on the ground. He walked outside of the barn, out of sight of the carnage inside.

Cas walked over to Dean, blood smeared over one eyebrow, and stopped.

“What are we doing with her?” He asked, nodding to the vampire pinned down to the ground by the hands.

“Thought we could ask it why kids were in its fucking nest,” Dean replied. He ran his hand through his hair. “I mean, fuck, Cas, there were ten of them and they’re all dead. All of them.” He turned around, his hands hanging limply by his side.

A flicker of touch ignited his hand. He turned around and looked at the blood stained angel - no not angel, man.

“The town is safer. The world is safer because of what you and Sam did-”

“Me and Sam? Damn Cas, you took out like half of the nest.”

A ghost of a smile danced on Cas’ lips and stayed. “I may have fought two, at most, but that’s not the point. Dad knows, it was difficult, but it needed to be done. The lives of so many innocents were taken already. You saved people, Dean. That’s what’s important.”

Dean looked at Cas’ face.

“Did you just say ‘dad knows’? Was that a joke I heard, Cas?”

The smile grew wider, crinkling Cas’ eyes.

“Whenever you make a joke, it always diffuses the tension. I thought I might try.”

Dean shook his head, an grin spreading across his face. He glanced up at Castiel’s face, to find Cas already looking at him.

These moments happen between them, moments where they just can’t look away from each other. Something fragile and precious breaks everytime they do look away, but this time was different. The look was stronger, less fragile but still precious.

Dean unconsciously stepped forward, almost close enough to break the norm of distance between two bros. He knew, with one tiny step, he could change things. He could change everything. No more kissing random girls in bars to forget sparkling blue eyes, no more glancing away from intense stares in his direction, no more pretending to not be hopelessly in love.

He stepped forward.

He could pick out the flecks of gray in Cas’ eyes. He noticed the spot of blood on Cas’ cheek. He saw the five o’clock shadow, the dimples fading as Cas’ smile slowly wiped away, replaced by an intense, focused look.

He looked at Cas’ lips last. He’s noticed them before, Chuck knows he’s stared at them countless times. Up close, they looked no different than the many times he’s looked at them. But before, he looked at them like they were unattainable, the way someone would look at stars. They somehow seemed real now, something he could take if he wanted to.

He reached up his hand to touch a spot of blood on Cas’ cheekbone.

He should move his hand back. He should really move his hand back. Dean had no idea what he was doing, only that he couldn’t stop. His other hand came up to brush Cas’ cheek.

Fuck.

For a moment, everything was still. Nothing else mattered. They stayed where they were, standing too close, Dean’s hands cradling Cas’ face, breathing in the silence.

Dean opened his mouth about to say something - what, he had no idea, maybe to ask permission, or to excuse himself - but a light pressure on his lips stopped him.

Dean froze, Cas’ lips on his, eyes wide open in shock.

This should be weird, why isn’t this weird? He thought.

Probably because you’ve thought about it so much. Or, you know, it could be the small fact that you are so, so far gone on him, something deep inside him answered.

Dean closed his eyes, giving in to the kiss, grasping Cas’ face firmly.

It was heaven; it was hell. It was everything he wanted; it was his nightmares made into reality. He was impossibly scared; he was unreasonably calm.

He was so damn in love.

A noise shattered their brief, vital moment.

Every point of contact between them broke. Hands fell, chests backed away, and lips departed. Dean and Castiel took a step back, once again retreating into the reasonable distance between two homies.

The sound came again. Dean recognized the creak of the Impala’s trunk closing and heard footsteps back towards the barn

The door opened and Sam came in.

“What are we doing with that one?” Sam sounded exhausted. Dean remembered the lives of the children that had been cut short. He turned away from Cas and looked at the vamp on the floor.

A witness.

Luckily, the vampire had lost so much blood it looked like it was drifting in and out of consciousness.

“I thought we could ask it why it had children in its nest, but right now, I just want to go home. It’s been a long day.” Dean said as he rubbed his eyes.

Fuck, it’s been a long day.

Sam sighed.

“OK, I’ll pack up the rest of our things, you and Cas finish it. And please hurry.”

Sam stepped out of the barn once more, carrying the rest of the weapons. He avoided looking anywhere but the door.

“Cas, you got it covered? I’m gonna start up Baby so we can get the hell out of here.”

Cas nodded and Dean turned away as fast as he could.

As he walked out of the barn, he heard the sickening schlick of a machete.

He shivered.


	2. movie boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel was fucking tired.
> 
> He remembered this from last time he was human, but forgot how overwhelming it was. Every single part of him begged for rest. 
> 
> He tried at first. Chuck knows that’s all he wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUDE I DONE IT. I FINALLY UPDATED. if you're actually reading this i don't even know what to do. i will give you an actual raccoon dog since they are the smollest boi
> 
> oh and i reference my OTHER shitty fic in this if you actually want to burn your eyes out reading another thing of mine
> 
> it is called No Idea What To Call This So Yeet

Castiel was fucking tired.

He remembered this from last time he was human, but forgot how overwhelming it was. Every single part of him begged for rest. 

He tried at first. Chuck knows that’s all he wanted.

When they had gotten home from the hunt, the entire two hour car ride silent, they all slowly staggered, covered in vamp blood, into their rooms. Castiel heard two thumps of doors shutting. 

He never realized that you could angrily shut a door. 

He walked into his room and shut his door. Like a normal, former angel/God/Lucifer would.

And he was so fucking tired.

He laid down, more like collapsed, and breathed. 

His breathing slowed. Fucking.

He breathed in. Stupid.

He sighed. Winchesters.

Cas got up. Rubbing his face, he grabbed a hoodie and walked out into the hallway. 

He knew he wasn’t mad at the Winchesters. He wasn’t even really mad.

Just really fucking tired.

Castiel stopped at the door he was looking for. He walked in.

The entertainment room, also known as the Dean Cave, was a welcome sight. Cas shrugged on his hoodie and flopped on the couch.

Even before Cas became a human, Dean made him watch old western movies with him. Angel Cas did it to spend time with Dean. Human Cas did it for Dean and because he found them comforting. Probably because of the Dean connection.

Fucking Winchesters.

Cas turned on the TV, not really caring what was on. Luckily for him, a classic™ cowboy movie was on.

Soon he was lost in the comfort of gunshots and bar floozys. 

Castiel vaguely wondered why Dean liked these movies so much.

The tell tale double thump of footsteps came from down the hall.

He had left the door open (too fucking tired) so he had a perfect view of Dean rushing past it. 

Cas heard Dean backtrack and closed his eyes. 

Damn.

He opened his eyes and saw Dean standing in the doorway, even more ungainly than usual. Cas sat up straight.

They stared.

To be fair, Cas did stare a lot. Normally at the same human.

It wasn’t any different this time. Same staring for long periods of time, same human, same burning feeling in his chest. 

Castiel had always known how he felt. Why would it be different?

They stared at each other for a few more moments.

Somebody cleared their throat. Castiel wasn’t sure which one of them it was.

“I’m just, uh, going out I guess,” Dean said, looking down.

Cas nodded. 

“I’ll tell Sam if you’re not back in the morning.”

Dean, shocked, looked down and took a step back. 

That’s right, Dean. Fuck you.

Silence.

“Yup, ok. Have fun, Cas.” Dean looked up and half smiled.

Cas just nodded again and closed his eyes.

He heard Dean walking away, dull thuds growing softer, and flopped back onto the couch.

Fucking.

Dean.

Winchester.

The first time he heard that name all he felt was duty. Get the Righteous Man, Dean Winchester out of Hell.

The second time he heard the name he felt pride. Castiel had touched his soul, had brought him out of hell, seen him emerge from the damn ground. Dean Winchester is alive.

On and on, every time he heard the name, different reactions. All the times he said it, all the times he didn’t.

The time when it was most important.

The time when he was dying. 

The time he said I love you.

He had thought saying the words would have been enough. For Dean, for anyone to know. 

Apparently it wasn’t.

He had a talk with Sam, before he was human, about what he had meant. And Sam had known. He wanted Cas to clarify, but somehow, he'd known.

Why was it so difficult for Dean to?

The day he said It, before shit happened, they had been at a diner. The waitress made a joke, had flirted with Castiel. And Dean?

Dean was awkward. 

It didn’t happen a lot. Castiel could count all the times it did, at least in his presence.

He had hoped. After that moment, after a dozen other moments, he had hoped. 

And then tonight happened. 

And Castiel was so fucking tired.

He unflopped himself. He opened his eyes and called, “Dean?”

No footsteps.

He stuck his head out the door.

“Dean?”

Nothing.

Cas ran down the hall.

At the end of it he saw a figure leaning against the wall, head slumped back. Dean.

“Dean?” He said softly.

The figure came into the light of the hallway.

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean sounded fucking tired.

They matched. Castiel, a fallen angel of the lord in more ways than one, smiled. 

“Did you want to finish the movie with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit  
> OHMYGOD I CANT BELIEVE I LEFT A PART IN THERE I WAS GOING TO TAKE OUT HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHY YOU PREVIEW BEFORE YOU POST
> 
> the part was
> 
> (HA JOKES ON YOU , YOU THOUGHT ITS DEAN'S ROOM HA HA HA HA)
> 
> yeah. whoops


End file.
